Math Suks

I recently transferred my Pilot Logbook to an online logbook. This was a fun adventure that let me relive every single flight I’ve ever taken. It’s amazing how much I remember from each flight, even though I can’t remember what I had for dinner last night. I’m kidding, it was a quinoa stuffed red pepper with portabella mushroom and broccoli. Anywho… bad memory for lots of tiny details, but apparently, no detail is too tiny when it’s in the cockpit (as it should be).

(Sidebar)  My memory lane began with my discover flight, where I met my instructor, Joel, whom I’d never met, at 5:3oam because I had waited so long that I didn’t want to wait for a day off to go; He was quite concerned about my poor judgement before we even met because of this. Joel had me do pretty much everything, from taxi to, surprisingly, landing! I was hooked when I started the engine and felt the avgas fragranced air wash over my face. It was, and still is, intoxicating. It’s a drug that gets me high, in every way.

Back to the purpose of the post… Shortly after my private check ride I found a very stupid math error in my logbook that, of course, changed everything from there on. Later on I found a total of five more careless errors that affected my totals. All of these errors were minor. They just made me wonder what the heck I was thinking about that had me distracted.

On a serious note, to correct the errors I made one logbook entry with a plus or minus number to reflect the difference and referenced the date of the original error in each of those boxes. Then, on the page of the original errors I highlighted the error and (literally) hash tagged them #MathIsHard

So what was I thinking that had me so distracted? Oh wait… since I make my logbook entries immediately after flying and total them up as soon as I finish a page I can claim that it wasn’t my fault… I was high.

For crying out loud!

Over the past year I’ve heard countless times from a handful of people words of gratitude for trusting them enough to cry in front of them. What is that? Seriously, I’m a human. Humans cry sometimes. I don’t really try to control who sees me cry. I am who I am and I make no apologies for crying and I don’t ask permission to show emotion. I certainly don’t reserve my tears for special people. My tears are 100% unbiased. It’s not a compliment, folks.

Ok, let’s be honest. It’s really more a matter of me not being strong enough to control it… or being too passionate to suppress emotion. I must admit that I have actually apologized (many times) for crying at work. I have no control. Sometimes I think it’s a positive thing, that I’m just so passionate about life that my emotions spill over. Other times I see it as a negative thing, a weakness. I think that in reality it’s a little bit of both. I have always been a strong and independent person, so crying at inopportune times just makes me feel weak, and I loathe weakness. But I wouldn’t really be me if I hardened my heart, so I’ve no desire to change.

My point is, why do people think life is so hard that they would need to “trust” someone enough to cry in front of them. If you need to cry, just cry, for crying out loud!

Life isn’t really so hard. Be yourself. Live, laugh, love, and try not to take life so seriously. Nobody gets out alive, anyway. And unless you invent some world changing device your life isn’t going to be scrutinized to the point that anyone really cares if you cry in front strangers or not. Just live your life one moment, one day, at a time.